It’s rapidly approaching the end of the school year. As students cram for finals and prepare for another year of hard work and ethic (for most of us, at least…), a whole other event is unfolding before our eyes: student elections, the factor that will decide who will “lead” us next year.

I think it’s safe to say that student elections are a meme at this point. (If you don’t know what a meme is, look it up.) The whole process is just so ridiculous it’s more like a reality show than anything else.

Here’s why I find it so funny:

The Candidates

This one is a mixed bag entirely. Some positions have no competition, such as Sophomore President, and since the current Freshman president is the only candidate, you can guess who’s gonna win. Other positions have anywhere from 2 to 6 candidates running. It’s funny, because I don’t know most of them. Ba-dum, tiss.

There is no process to let the students know about the candidates. No debates, no introductions, nothing. Hell, I don’t even know the hot topics that students should be debating! One candidate I know claimed to give a speech, but I never even heard it. Guess he said it to some random class.

The Posters

This makes me laugh head over heels. During elections, candidates hang posters telling people to vote for them. However, most of these posters are just funny one-liners rather than political advertisements.

If I were to make a poster, I would advertise what I could contribute to the school. Most people are selfish, so if you tell them you will give them what they want, they will vote for you. My poster would say something like “Anthony Myrlados: Efficiency, Representation, Progress, for YOU. Vote today.”

On the other hand, the posters I’ve seen are much more… frivolous. One poster has a mirror (that’s right!) and says, “Look who’s voting for x candidate…” Another poster has a picture of the candidate with a shocked face. The caption reads, “When I hear that you’re not voting for y candidate.” Ridiculous.

It’s one big popularity contest

Let’s admit it, it’s true. The most well-known and popular candidates are probably winning. I always hear the candidates trash-talking each other about how “weird: they are or whatever. There’s a lot of factionism going on as well. People vote for whatever candidate is their friend. Girls vote for girls, boys vote for boys, unless one has a crush on an opposite-sex candidate.

Finally, I can barely contain my laughter when I overhear a student saying that she received three stickers from a hopeful candidate who wanted to claim her vote. Bribery is rampant this time of the year and elections are won among student lines.

In conclusion, I think the student elections are hilarious. People making funny posters, bribing students, etc… Not to mention, at the end of the day, student administration doesn’t do crap. 

They can’t change school policy or rules; that’s the job of the school district and district trustees. So at the end of the day, let’s enjoy these elections for what they are: a fun time to grow your popularity and improve your college resume.

What else do you find funny about student elections? Feel free to comment.