I just got my dirty, grimy hands on one of these dastardly rascals:
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the last couple of weeks (or are not a teenager,) you will know that this is a fidget spinner.
The premise is simple. You hold the center with two fingers, and spin one side. The spinner then spins for a long-ass time.
You can balance it on your finger, move it around, etc…
Since it also makes an audible humming sound while it spins, you can annoy the hell out of everyone within a 10-mile radius.
Recently, this thing has started appearing all across American classrooms. Remember SillyBandz? Well, this is the SillyBandz epidemic on steroids.
(…Which is the main reason I got it, since doing what everyone else is doing is going to raise my social status by a few points. Right?)
These things just suddenly appeared around March 2017, and ever since the number of students that have it has steadily increased. I’d say a good 30% of students own at least one of these toys and bring it to school. Some bourgeois even started to buy more than one fidget spinner, glow-in-the-dark fidget spinners, and even light-up spinners!
(It’s ridiculous. Come on, guys.)
The toy has apparently been available since the 1990’s, but has only recently skyrocketed in popularity. It was originally marketed as a toy to help children with autism, ADHD, and difficulty concentrating. Funnily enough, I don’t see anyone with any such conditions using this toy.
(Or does that mean we all have ADHD?)
Would I recommend buying one? YES! Absolutely! This toy is actually quite fun to play with. It’s definitely worth the $6.00(!) for the hunk of plastic and aluminum.
But at the end of the day, think of all the centuries of mathematical and scientific discoveries that went into the culmination of the fidget spinner. The intricate balance of the plates, the exact symmetry, the laws of conservation of energy being activated every time you take it for a whizz. You have to thank the Scientific Revolution, the thinkers of Ancient Times; every physicist that ever lived, Dan Quayle, and so on for the creation of such a pivotal (haha) piece of technology.
Man, I’m gonna have so much fun annoying everyone tomorrow…